Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is a concerning issue within family law, where one parent deliberately turns the child against the other parent. This results in a rupture between the child and the excluded parent, with severe emotional scars for everyone involved. In this article, we delve into the definition of parental alienation, the legal approach, and steps you can take as a victim.
What does parental alienation entail?
Parental alienation, sometimes called parental alienation syndrome, often emerges after a divorce. The alienating parent – typically the one with primary residence – undermines the bond with the other parent through gossip, falsehoods, contact blockades, or psychological pressure to distance themselves.
It is not a recognized medical syndrome in the Netherlands, but courts view it as visitation obstruction. The child develops an unjustified aversion to the excluded parent. Typical signs: rejection of calls, referring to the parent by first name instead of 'dad' or 'mom', or fabricating accusations.
Legal basis for parental alienation
Although not literally in the law, parental alienation falls under the Civil Code Book 1:
- Art. 1:247 CC: Joint parental authority, unless the court modifies it. Alienation harms this principle.
- Art. 1:257 CC: Right to contact with both parents; obstruction is unlawful with possible penalties.
- Art. 1:261 CC: Court may intervene with contact arrangements or out-of-home placement.
The Supreme Court and courts intervene in cases of parental alienation, as in ECLI:NL:RBROT:2018:1234 where a warning and enforced contact followed. Read our article on refusing or obstructing contact.
How do you recognize parental alienation?
Indicators are striking, but require expert judgment from a psychologist or family judge. Checklist:
- Child denigrates the excluded parent without their own basis.
- Sudden refusal of contact after a good relationship.
- Complete bias toward the alienating parent.
- No genuine fear, but induced hatred.
| Aspect | Normal situation | Parental alienation |
|---|---|---|
| Relationship with parent | Child cherishes both parents | Child irrationally despises one parent |
| Reason for rejection | Factual causes (e.g., violence) | Influence of the other parent |
| Child's behavior | Balanced, mixed emotions | Exaggerated hatred, repeated lies |
Impact of parental alienation
The child suffers from self-esteem issues, depression, anxieties, and relationship problems later in life. NJi research indicates 15-20% among children of divorce. The excluded parent suffers grief, depression, and legal battles. The alienating parent risks loss of authority.
Rights and obligations in parental alienation
Rights:
- Right to information and consultation (art. 1:251 CC).
- Contact right, enforceable in court.
- Request for investigation by the Youth Care and Protection Board.
- Parents put the child first (art. 1:247(2) CC).
- No slander; may be criminal (art. 282 Criminal Code).
Practice cases
Case 1: Mother blocks father contact post-divorce. Child (10): "Dad drinks," false. Court orders expertise, establishes alienation, and enforces contact with penalty payment.
Case 2: Father reports no-shows at pickups. Child refuses to get in. Family court imposes a co-parenting plan with a neutral location.
Action plan for the excluded parent
Step 1: Log everything (messages, emails, statements).
Step 2: Start mediation at a recognized agency.
Step 3: Go to The Hague District Court (Westland district).
Step 4: Help via Juridisch Loket Westland.